Social life & GST - finding friends that support the healthy life

Hello all, I wondered if anyone is in a similar dilemma, or has been and worked through it.

At the beginning of your GB & fitness journey, how did you build your support network without sabotaging your goals? I’m talking about finding new friends with shared values, that don’t demand that you go drinking or skip workouts, or where you don’t end up sacrificing sleep. But also when when you’re not in the ‘fit group’ yet - that difficult place where your lifestyle is too healthy for your old friends, but you’re not slick enough to fit in with the slim and fit crowd :-(

I’m pretty discipined and love the GST course (plus am doing Thrive), but it can be a bit lonely at times with no one to share it with - other than this forum. I’ve also just moved countries and have prioritised GST above ‘going out’ to socialize, plus am single too. I guess what I’m wondering is how others have managed, or if there are some stories of how you managed to build your social lives around your fitness too ..??

Should I just keep plugging at it, or strategise some other activity to be less obsessive about GST? I train at a crossfit box but only use the open gym, but since I don’t join the classes it’s not quite the same. I’m loving this whole health journey but it would be so much more fun to have supportive people around and not just my old friends trying to derail it all the time!

Jim Rohn one time said that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I so believe it is true...

It is even a little worse for me, as I am older (52) and not as many people care about health and fitness as they age. Also I am vegan, so there is elimination of another 93+% of population, ha ha… Over the years, I have learnt that it is not so important to me to hang out with "not right people for me". I rather choose not to go to that party or this social thing, if it doesn't support my goals. Thus I don't need to repeatedly explain myself to others, that I am choosing not to drink because I feel better like that, and that I eat how I eat, and that I train because I love it, not to lose weight, etc. 

When I socialize, I have fragmented groups supporting my interests. The gym peeps who are into training… Vegan Toastmasters where I can connect on the issues of veganism and kindness… my pole classes where I can connect with girls who struggle just like me on the pole… plus similarly, I have different  social media groups where I find  and/or can give support,  motivation, and inspiration. Plus of course, this forum is super motivating.

Also, I have a super amazing chocolate labrador at home. So her love is always showering me and I don't feel lonely  :-) 

Your post come to me on the best time. I was super annoyed all weekend for the same reasons. This week the social part of my life completely destroyed the training part. I promised to write how I deal with that tomorrow. Too tired now.

+1 to what @Suzanna McGee said. If you can eliminate the need to "hang out", 90% of your problems are solved. If you're a social person, then this is going to be harder than if you're comfortable in your own company, as I am.

I've been to a few aerial and tumbling classes - which is some social contact, but being the oldest by 20-30 years (I'm 50) doesn't make it particularly good for social contact.

Like Suzanna, I don't need any kind of validation for what I do: I get benefits from training and I enjoy it. All I can suggest is to keep training, and look forward to doing "real" rather than kipping muscle ups in front of the CrossFitters.

My local rock gym is where I both train and socialize quite a bit. Flagstaff is a super active city so I've had an easy time connecting with plenty of health-conscious athletes. At the same time, though, training is a more personal time for me so I use climbing as a means of socializing, whereas if I'm in the rock gym training GST, I zone out and don't chat much.

My point in sharing all that is that it might be worth trying to find another active hobby to use for socializing and connecting. You'd probably be able to recruit some GST training partners that way too

On 05/11/2017 at 11:04 PM, Suzanna McGee said:

Jim Rohn one time said that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I so believe it is true...

 

This is so true - I completely agree. Actually I've ended up losing the majority of my social group, either intentionally or unintentionally, as part of this life change. And honestly, for those that still try to sabotage it, then I do not mind reducing more ties. But it does get to a point when one questions how healthy it is to be so isolated without a plan to meet new people.

@Suzanna McGee - you should come to Berlin - there are tonnes of vegans here! I pretty much feel like an outcast being paleo ... although I do appreciate the extra veggies that come with the vegan movement ;-) Thank you for sharing - your social schedule sounds busy! And I'm super impressed with you taking up GST at 50! Kudos!

@Antonio Alías Montoya haha yes this post was prompted by an old college friend visiting. We actually had an argument about me not wanting to drink when he had 'travelled all this way'. It made me appreciate how far I've come and that now I simply don't even enjoy it. Every drink or unhealthy meal = one step away from my goals. Not fun.

@Nick Murray understand about the not needing to 'hang out' for the sake of validation. It's more basic human interaction and support network (outside work). Even workout buddies to check form, or have geeky chats about wrist prep or xiao peng movements would be great. Hahaha yeah and I totally am also motivated about being able to do a proper pull up and not kipping!! hahah

@Everett Carroll thank you for the suggestion! I'm starting to wonder if I might have to do this, even if it slows down GST a bit. Although it will probably one of the gym classes (metcon or crossfit) and I'll have to build up to it gradually. I joined one of the occasional big club /team wods recently and a guy in my team was an ex gymnast and is keen to do more. Plus one of the instructors is an ex-gymnast and runs the 'gymnastics' class there (crossfit style though), so there's already interest among the members ... so yes, maybe there could be some to convert! 

I suppose the key is to take the GB approach of keep showing up, putting in the time and results will come ... I was just wondering if I was on the right track or not! Thanks all :-)