Hey @Jeff Serven, I know you are not a fan of instant oatmeal. Not sure why--preservatives maybe?
What about non-instant "quick" oats?
Specifically these: McCANN'S Irish Oatmeal, Quick Cooking Rolled Oats, 16-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 6) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001E5E3S0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_KDVyyb31HHQQX
What say you--OK, or "go grab my Glock"?